disjoint thoughts

I love xkcd. This geeky comic almost never fails to bring a smile to my face. But every now and then the comic is so abstract and cryptic that I have no clue what they’re talking about. This strip in particular had me scratching my head until i found this post by Jenner on the xkcd forums:

Examples of Bel-air vs Reverse Bel-air is as so:

Bel-air:
I ate some pretty bad food at this really dingy diner last night and I think I may have gotten food poisoning. I’ve been up all night with a stomach ache and lets say nothing about what’s been going on below that. I just don’t understand /b/, what should I do? I mean, it wasn’t like I ate that much of it. I just got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you’re moving in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air.

Reverse Bel-air:
Now this is a story all about how my life got flip-turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I got arrested for soliciting a minor while just waiting for my nephew to get out of elementary school with my stereo blaring. It’s tragic really, serve and protect my butt.

As you can see, the Bel-air melds the song into the end of the conversation, and you suddenly realize they’re singing Fresh Prince. Whereas the reverse starts with Fresh Prince and then merges in the relevant conversation.

Let’s say you have an awesome parking spot. Maybe not as cool as the parking spots we have at OpenRain, but a good one nonetheless.

What do you do if someone else jacks your spot? Leave them a nice, passive aggressive, note for them:

Worked for me!

Are you wanting to develop rock hard abs? Is the lack of a six pack impeding on your ability to attract members of the opposite sex? Is most exercise you get on a daily bases coming from your Wii? If you’ve answered “YES!” to any of these questions, the Wii Sports Ab Workout might be your road to success.

Follow these easy steps to get started with the Wii Sports Ab Workout:

Step #1: Load up Wii Sports and start a round of boxing.
Step #2: Hold the Wiimote with the toes on your right foot (If you cannot hold the Wiimote between your toes, you may consider attaching them to your feet, or a pair of sandals, using medical tape).
Step #3: Hold the Nunchuck with the toes on your left foot.
Step #4: Lay on the floor.
Step #5: BOX!

Note: you cannot use your arms/elbows to prop yourself up! It will require the use of your abs if you want to watch the screen.

For an extra bonus, play with a friend! The shear hilarity of the experience will make surely make you laugh until tears roll down your cheeks and thus increase the burn to your abdomen even further!

Savoeun and I went climbing out at Sven Slab on Sunday and had a little unexpected adventure. The first route we hopped on was a lovely crack called One for the Road. I was half way up the first pitch, and thoroughly enjoying myself, when I started to get attacked by bees. I soon realized that the ledge at the top of the first was the home for a hive of killer bees. Bummer. Sav and I managed to retrieve all our gear, but I ended up getting stung in the face three times! So what’s it like getting stung in the face by killer bees?

It sucks. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s pretty uncomfortable. It’s a little comical too. I can’t smile or laugh and keep my eyes open at the same time!

The past two weekend I’ve spent climbing in Red Rocks, Nevada. In these four short days I’ve climbed some of the most amazing, long, and fun routes of my climbing career. Of particular note is a route called Community Pillar. Now this climb might not be your typical “classic” route, but it was HILARIOUS. The amount of squeezing through improbable holes and up tight chimneys you do is mind blowing. And watching people attempt to go through holes they are fairly certain will get them stuck is entertainment like nothing else. Here’s a video I made for my climbing partner Erin who couldn’t join me because she’s in Nova Scotia:

You can check out the photos I took from both weekends here, and here.

Here’s my latest climbing shirt creation. A little flavor or trad with some sexual innuendo…

front:

…and the back:

You can get your own via cafepress here.

Want a CHEAP ipod touch case? Too lazy to order a real case online? Are you just plain crazy? Well follow these easy steps to create a great ghetto ipod touch case…

1. Buy a pack of Dentyne ice gum.
2. Chew the gum, all of it.

3. Remove plastic.
4. Slide ipod into your brand new Dentyne ice iPod Touch case.

5. (OPTIONAL) Cut hole into case so you can control music without removing touch from its case.

6. …
7. Profit?

Pretty sweet case, huh? Huh? I rate it a solid 2 out of 10.

Here’s my latest creation of humorous climbing apparel:

You can get your own via cafepress.

I have another design I’m working on. More of a trad climbing shirt, with sexual innuendo Look for that to show up in the next few weeks.

Another Jeff Murdoch invention:

Jeff: “Ok, maybe I can help you. You know jelly wrestling?”
Steve: “Jelly wrestling?”
Jeff: “Which is basically jelly with women wrestling in it.”
Steve: “We’re familiar with the concept yes.”
Jeff: “Ok, well, think about this afterwards, after the wrestling. What happens to the jelly?”
Steve: “The jelly.”
Jeff: “Because you could sell that. That… is a missed opportunity. You could bottle and sell it.”
Steve: “Ok.”
Jeff: “You’d take the women out first, obviously.”
Steve: “Good.”
Jeff: “There’d just be a hint.”
Steve: “Are you in any way moving in the direction of relevance?”
Jeff: “Relevance? Steve, do you realize what I just invented? Porn Jelly. The human races’ two most favorite things meet at last. In dessert form.”
Steve: “Jeff!”
Jeff: “There’s a lot of lonely people out there Steve. What do lonely people enjoy? Puddings and porn. Now, for all your needs, pudding porn. It’s a girlfriend in a jar except it’s jelly.”

This comedic excerpt brought to you by Coupling.

Awesome Mario & 300 comic from vgcats. Lol.